Beyond Black and White: Embracing the Full Spectrum of Life | #MyFridayStory №358
When you replace “or” with “and” something profound happens. Without realising it, you shift from a dualistic mindset — where things are black or white, right or wrong, in or out — to a non-dualistic way of seeing the world. Suddenly, life feels richer, more colourful, and infinitely more complex.
But our human tendency leans toward simplicity. We long to categorise, compartmentalise, and label, creating neat boxes to understand a chaotic world. Yet, life is rarely so binary. It is a kaleidoscope of shades, hues, and tones that resist the dullness of monochrome.
Dualistic thinking — while useful for survival and practical problem-solving — becomes a trap when applied to the deeper, more mysterious aspects of existence. We find ourselves dividing people, experiences, and even spiritual truths into opposing camps: good or bad, worthy or unworthy, insider or outsider. In doing so, we lose sight of the beauty that exists in the in-between spaces.
Father Richard Rohr from The Centre for Action and Contemplation, in his wisdom, writes:
“Dualistic thinking, or the ‘egoic operating system,’ is our way of reading reality from the position of our private and small self. The dualistic mind is essentially binary, either/or thinking. It knows by comparison, opposition, and differentiation… Most of us settle for quick and easy answers instead of any deep perception, which we leave to poets, philosophers, and prophets. Yet depth and breadth of perception should be the primary arena for all authentic religion. How else could we possibly search for God?”
This struck a chord with me. I can recall moments when my own rigid thinking was softened by the experience of suffering. For years, I did not understand why I would cry — no, sob — when praying for the poor, the marginalised, the elderly, or the sick. My tears confused me. But over time, as I allowed myself to embrace the full spectrum of human experience, I realised that my suffering connected me to theirs. In pain, I found a strange kinship with joy.
This is the paradox of duality. On one hand, opposites — day and night, love and hate, rich and poor — teach us about contrast and balance. Without duality, there would be no opposites to learn from. On the other hand, clinging too tightly to these oppositions creates division, conflict, and suffering.
Richard points out the limits of dualistic thinking:
“The dualistic mind cannot process things like infinity, mystery, God, grace, suffering, sexuality, death, or love; this is exactly why most people stumble over these very issues. The dualistic mind pulls everything down into some kind of tit-for-tat system of false choices and too-simple contraries… Without the contemplative and converted mind — honest and humble perception — much religion is frankly dangerous.”
Consider this: What might happen if we stopped insisting on rigid categories? If we loosened our grip on deeply held beliefs and allowed room for growth, nuance, and inclusion? Imagine the possibilities if we saw life not as a game of winners and losers, but as a tapestry woven with threads of both triumph and tragedy.
Certainly, dualistic thinking has its place. In fields like math, science, or engineering, precision and clear answers are essential. But in the realm of spirituality, relationships, and emotions, rigid judgments often hinder more than they help. It is in the blurred spaces between extremes that we find truth, compassion, and connection.
I’ve learned that embracing non-duality doesn’t mean abandoning discernment. Instead, it’s about holding both the light and the shadow, the certainty and the mystery. It’s about recognising that suffering and joy are not opposites but partners in a cosmic dance.
So, how do we move toward non-duality? By practising openness. By letting love, empathy, and compassion guide us. By seeing others not as separate but as reflections of ourselves.
The journey from duality to non-duality isn’t easy. But as Father Richard reminds us, it is through prayer, contemplation, and the courage to face our own limitations that we begin to see the world — and ourselves — with clearer eyes.
Have a wonderful weekend, and remember to be generous! 😄
As always, thanks for reading. 🙏
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