Feeling Worthy | #MyFridayStory №379
True worthiness stems from within — it’s a feeling of validation that doesn’t rely on external achievements. It’s about an unwavering belief in your intrinsic value as a human being.
A few weeks ago, I shared insights about personality traits in Navigating Different Personality Types. I mentioned one trait I’ve had for as long as I can remember: “high blame avoidance.” For years, I couldn’t name it — until I attended a course on the Predictive Index. When I first heard the term used to describe my personality type, I was in denial. What kind of person consciously avoids blame, even when it’s justified?
But as my colleagues on the course examined everyone’s results — including mine — it became clear. One aspect of my chart showed an extremely high “D.” In Predictive Index terms, this signifies a strong tendency toward blame avoidance. Initially, I was horrified. This was a core driver of mine? But as the coaching explained how the traits interact, my anxiety gave way to understanding.
Here’s a brief outline of the four key drivers in the Predictive Index:
- “A” Dominance: The drive to influence people or events.
- “B” Extraversion: The drive for social interaction.
- “C” Patience: The drive for consistency and stability.
- “D” Formality: The drive to conform to rules and structure.
Each drive can be high or low, and neither extreme is inherently good or bad. My profile showed moderate dominance (A), very high extraversion (B), very low patience (C), and an extremely high formality (D). That last trait — a strong drive to conform and do things “right” — means I often create meticulous structures to avoid the possibility of blame.
Throughout my life, I’ve carried this trait like a badge. In every job, relationship, and interaction — with family, friends, colleagues, or even Uber drivers — I’ve strived to give 110%. While I’ve made mistakes, I can look back with humility, learning from each one. Life has a way of teaching us lessons that continue to give, if we’re open to receiving them.
But this trait comes with a downside. The interplay of nature and nurture dealt me a hand that sometimes feels like I’m cheating. I’ve always seen it as more of a blessing than a curse. With faith, I’ve trusted that God has guided every moment of preparation — every second leading to the next. You can’t force God’s hand; the next move is always yours. If that move is born from love, it will bear fruit — not always immediately, but in its own time.
I’ve often thought about how much I value recognition over monetary reward. Like an artist or musician who seeks appreciation for their craft, I’ve found deep satisfaction in being acknowledged for my work and relationships. Yet when kindness and generosity go unreciprocated, it can leave you questioning your worth.
I recall a former boss who later admitted he had advised the CEO against giving me raises or bonuses for three consecutive years. His reasoning? He didn’t believe I needed more money. At another company, I asked for a raise after proving my worth. My boss redirected me to his partner, who bluntly stated that I was already overpaid. I resigned that same day.
Research tells us that recognition and rewards boost engagement, productivity, and happiness. Praise can be a powerful tool — not just in professional settings but in every interaction. So why not make it a habit to uplift those around you?
Have a wonderful weekend, and remember — be generous! 😊
As always, thanks for reading. 🙏
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