Gone Fishing | #MyFridayStory №238

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You should write your own eulogy.

I’ve been writing mine for over 20 years and it’s titled, “When I die”. It may seem like a self-indulgent or depressing exercise, but it needn’t be. Mine has evolved into a sort-of account of my life and the things that are important to me. It’s become a snapshot of how happy I am with — and in — my life at the time. Writing, reading, re-reading and re-writing my eulogy provides me with clarity on how I want to live my life.

Many will tell you to never live with regrets. I agree that hanging onto regret like luggage is not helpful, but denying it is missing an opportunity. Nobody wants to regret something they did or said. We don’t set out doing things we know we are going to regret. That’s why regret feels so crappy. Because we did or said something wrong or could have done it differently.

From a young age, we are taught that being wrong — making a mistake — is a bad thing. This negative programming continues throughout our childhood and never stops. Reinforcing the lesson in the classroom, on the sports fields, at home and in the office, we learn to avoid making mistakes at any cost. Making mistakes — and dealing with the consequences — should be encouraged, not frowned on. It’s only when we feel safe enough to make mistakes that we are brave enough to challenge convention.

And the status quo should always be challenged.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen an old person nearing death who is looking back at their life with regret. When you have seen a life that could have been more, and you see the person’s face when they realise the missed opportunities, you’re left devastated.

Writing your eulogy is a great way to take stock of your life and the decisions you are making. The choices we make, the words we speak, the places we go, and the people we mix with, all have an impact on how happy you are going to be.

We all make mistakes, that’s the human condition. A lot depends on what you do after the mistake. Consequences are tough to face but learning to deal with them with maturity and maintaining your dignity, is part of life. Helping children navigate making mistakes without ridicule or scorn creates the space for them to learn and grow. Children without fear of failure have a greater chance of becoming balanced adults.

What people say about you after you’ve gone matters. Leaving a legacy of who you are and what you did for people should be important to you. Not playing for the crowds or posing, no baggage, just the real authentic you. That’s who we’ll mourn.

You can waste whole lifetime
Trying to be
What you think is expected of you
But you’ll never be free
May as well go fishing Chris Rea Gone Fishing

Have an awesome weekend and please be generous! 😄

As always, thanks for reading 🙏

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Originally published at https://medium.com on April 29, 2022.

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