We all wear façades. In limited instances, it’s necessary to get things done and move forward. However, posing hinders building genuine relationships and fostering understanding.
My older brother was one of the most authentic people I’ve ever known. Although his feet were firmly planted on the ground, he had a balanced ego with little regard for posers. He would call you out if you tried to ease a pose into your persona for whatever reason. He seemed to despise people who were not authentic, especially those with inflated egos. Growing up together meant we could never escape being anything but real.
When I started working in an office environment, I quickly adopted the “dressing for success” pose. As a young white male in the late 80s, it meant dressing in a two or three-piece suit, with a pin-striped shirt and sporting armbands, a silk paisley tie, crossbands holding up the trousers and rounded off with polished shoes. Throughout my career, the dressing for success pose was kept alive. It was only as I transitioned into the second half of my life that the pose became less relevant and useful.
When I was in my early thirties, I was headhunted for a position as a branch sales manager at a large company. I had to recruit and develop a team of sales consultants into a functional branch of fifteen to twenty salespeople. As a manager of mostly younger folk, an authoritarian pose was adopted, while as a leader, I tried to remain aloof to avoid becoming too familiar. These different poses served their purpose for a young, inexperienced manager finding his way and learning how to lead.
These and many other of my past poses have little value as I stand in the second half of my life.
When you become comfortable in your own skin, you can drop the pose and simply “be.” There is no need to strike a pose because you have nothing to prove. There is no argument or resistance to what is because it is what it is. You accept your flaws and brokenness as the quirky byproduct of being human without needing to feel embarrassed about who you are and what you stand for. When you have dropped your ego and can accept feeling vulnerable and exposed, you can grow and develop more authentic relationships.
We are pressured to present a perfectly curated image through our online presence, which isn’t a true reflection of who we are. Being bossy or authoritarian towards colleagues can create a toxic work environment. Take some time to reflect on your values and beliefs and find your true self. Align your actions and interactions with those that ring true to your authentic self. Being authentic and presenting your best self to the world is an ongoing quest. You may stumble into old habits, but being aware of your values and beliefs and longing to remain true to yourself will bring you back.
Surround yourself with folks who value and encourage authenticity. Seeking out those relationships will help you in your own journey of authenticity.
Have a great weekend and please remember to be generous! 😄
As always, thanks for reading. 🙏
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