The Twelve Steps Begin — Part 3 | #MyFridayStory №341

Frans Nel
3 min readJul 19, 2024

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Mehmet Turgut Kirkgoz | Pexels

“Admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.” ~ Step 1 of the Twelve Steps

The deepest truth of Step 1 requires us to admit that we are powerless over our lives and that life itself is unmanageable without God. As I reflect on the past 20 years of sobriety, I wonder if we don’t all suffer from some form of addiction. Our modern lives have become treacherous to navigate without a crutch or a vice. I am convinced that more people would find peace and joy in their lives if they would make the sacrifices necessary to thrive. But they fight to keep control. To not feel unmoored from life as they know it. This drive further deepens their dependence, addiction and the associated guilt.

As many teachers of the Twelve Steps have said, the first step is probably the hardest, most denied, and most avoided. Letting go isn’t how we expect to find happiness, yet all mature spirituality is about letting go and unlearning. In each of the Twelve Steps, there is a requirement to hand over control. However, our Shadow Self — our ego — selfishly wants to hold on. To make your life broader, and full of inner peace and deep love requires us to lose our ego.

Father Richard Rohr of The Centre for Action and Contemplation explains. “What the ego hates more than anything else is to change — even when the present situation isn’t working or is horrible. Instead, we do more and more of what does not work. The reason we do anything one more time is because the last time did not really satisfy us deeply.”

Rabbi Rami Shapiro names the paradox of powerlessness and surrender to God:

“The fundamental and paradoxical premise of Twelve Step recovery as I experience it is this: The more clearly you realise your lack of control, the more powerless you discover yourself to be and the more natural it is for you to be surrendered to God. The more surrendered to God you become, the less you struggle against the natural flow of life. The less you struggle against the flow of life, the freer you become. Radical powerlessness is radical freedom, liberating you from the need to control the ocean of life and freeing you to learn how best to navigate it”.

The Twelve-Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous is rooted in handing over control to a Higher Power. Millions of alcoholics and addicts have been freed from their sickness through the wisdom and radical advice contained in The Big Book’s pages. Although I never formally went through the Twelve-Step program of rehabilitation, it is easy to see how each step brings you closer to ultimate healing. Although an alcoholic always remains an alcoholic, even when they are sober, it is an acknowledgement of our brokenness that keeps us grounded, humble and clean.

Have a great weekend and please remember to be generous! 😄

As always, thanks for reading. 🙏

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