You Didn’t Choose This, But You Can Choose That | #MyFridayStory №380
There are many times a day you will be confronted with the need to make a choice. Some of these choices are subconscious and automatic, others are ingrained in our DNA, and still others we make consciously using the given information. Determining which choice to make when we must engage our minds and apply rationale to the decision is a minefield of “ifs,” “maybes,” and “I’m almost sure I’m right on this one!”
We are often caught off guard when a choice goes bad because we were so sure we had made the right one.
In life today, we are more spoiled for choice than ever in history. From our groceries and clothing to what style of car to buy or which school to attend, these choices not only influence our future decisions but also the trajectory of our lives.
But it wasn’t always this way.
From the moment you are conceived and born, many foundational aspects of your life are already determined for you — without any input on your part. You had no choice where or when you would be born, to which parents, in what country, or under what circumstances. You had no choice in your family’s financial status or whether they were marginalised or privileged.
These early conditions shape our lives profoundly. Neuroscientific research highlights how our formative years set the stage for the neural pathways that influence our decision-making later. A 2019 study from the Centre on the Developing Child at Harvard University suggests that early childhood experiences have a lasting impact on brain development and can either enable or hinder our ability to make sound decisions as adults. Yet, as we grow older, the choices we make gradually gain more significance, shaping us as much as those formative years.
So, when do we truly begin to make our own choices?
Psychologists often point to adolescence, roughly between the ages of 12 and 18, as the period when we start taking ownership of our decisions. This is the age when our brains, particularly the prefrontal cortex responsible for reasoning and self-control, begin to mature. But this is a process, not an event. Even well into our twenties, our ability to evaluate risks and rewards evolves.
I remember an encounter from years ago when I spoke to a group of young adults about a beggar I had seen mistreated by a motorist. I shared how heartbroken I felt witnessing such disregard for another human being. One young woman’s response stunned me: “I don’t feel sorry for them; it’s their choice to beg.”
Her words hit me like a blow to the gut. I stood there, speechless. How could she believe that someone would choose such a life of hardship? That response stayed with me. It was a stark reminder that we often fail to see how much of life is determined by factors beyond our control — and that it’s a privilege to have choices at all.
Yet, this doesn’t mean we’re powerless. Each day we are given the opportunity to make decisions, small or significant, that shape our character and our destiny. While we can’t change the circumstances of our birth, we can choose how we respond to them. We can choose to forgive, to show grace, to work hard, and to uplift others.
Jesus’ life was a good example of this. Born into a humble family, in a marginalised community under Roman rule, He didn’t have the privileges many of us take for granted. Yet, His choices — whom to love, whom to serve, and how to live — changed the world. His story reminds us that while we may not choose where we start, we can decide how we live and whom we serve.
So, the next time you face a decision, remember that while you didn’t choose many aspects of your life, you do have the power to shape what comes next. Your choices can be the difference between perpetuating harm and creating hope.
And if that feels overwhelming, chill out. Even when we stumble, God is there, guiding us, redeeming our choices, and using them to write a greater story than we could ever imagine.
Have a wonderful weekend, and remember — be generous! 😊
As always, thanks for reading. 🙏
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